I really don’t understand where the time is going. I had every intention of posting on Wednesday when fab new laptop came. It is, btw, FABULOUS . And now suddenly it’s Sunday and I couldn’t even tell you where the rest of the days went. Thursday I went in for another monitoring appt. Follicles had grown but not enough and I was told to come back the next morning after another night of meds. I was sure that on Friday they were going to tell me to trigger that night. But lo and behold that was not the case. I had a couple over 20mm but most were lagging and the Dr. thought another day would be beneficial even though he knew I would not be super happy about it. I counted around 10, though since many were small I was feeling quite pessimistic . I was also annoyed that the delay in triggering meant I would have to come back in on Saturday early for another monitoring and would not be able to sleep in, something that I have been desperately needing to do for the last two weeks. Plus, delaying another day likely meant a Monday retrieval, requiring a day off of work on a very busy day. Plans changed again that afternoon when Dr. called to tell me he wanted me to trigger after all on Friday as my blood work revealed a drop in E2, indicating my body was ready to get those eggies out. Any change in plan has made me nervous and my head immediately turned to worse case scenarios---eggs would be over-cooked or not mature enough, drop in E2 could mean I ovulated too early, etc. No medical evidence to back this up of course just my head going to all those bad places. It’s good at that.
The trigger shot wasn’t bad at all though I was nervous in a way that I wasn’t with the others. It’s just so big! But it slipped right in (unlike the completely dull Gan.i.re.lix injections which comically bounced off my stomach numerous times after trying to jab them in roughly). Some muscle tightness in my bum was my only side effect that night.
Saturday brought my wonderful friends from my old job in D.C. into town. The kind of friends that are so comfortable and supportive and with whom you settle back into to easy conversation and connection so quickly, as if you’ve never been apart. One of them is pregnant, about 23 weeks. Another has two kids and the other is single. There was a lot of talk about pregnancy, babies and kids. But I realized, a few hours into their visit, that I felt none of the usual twinges of jealousy, bitterness, sadness, that I feel around others who chat about these things. Beyond that two of them have experiences of losses themselves and understand some of the difficulties and challenges of infertility--four miscarriages between them--they are just generally and naturally some of the most supportive and giving people I know. My single friend knitted me some very colorful “fertile thoughts” mittens which she instructed me to rub on my belly. I did. They were sending so much freaking positive fertile energy my way that it was ridiculous, and strangely not annoying. And even, dare I say it, believable. I left dinner last night feeling more positive (and strangely fertile) than I have in weeks. Nuts? Maybe. But I’ll take it.
Some of that energy must have transmitted properly. This morning 15 eggs were retrieved! Woohoo! This was great news and far more than expected given there had only ever been 10 or fewer follicles, many of which appeared small. Maybe there were multiple eggs per follicle? I don’t know how many were mature but I am definitely pleased with the numbers. I felt incredible sadness, however, when I heard the nurse tell the woman next to me in recovery that they had only gotten four eggs of which two were mature from her. I wanted to reach out to her but also didn’t what to pry. The disappointment and sadness in her voice was palpable and hard for me not to respond to. I tried to send some good thoughts and energy I had received her way. I will keep on doing so and pray that it works for her
…Perhaps even better news for us was that Mr. P. was not called back in after the first sample to give another one which we presume meant that there were some moving sperm to work with from the fresh sample. I will be waiting anxiously for the fertilization report tomorrow. I still am fearful that nothing might fertilize though the nurse assured me that this was rare. Transfer will be either Wednesday or Friday.
I am feeling a bit more bloated, tender and in pain than I expected. Not something that I can’t handle (these symptoms are not all that dissimilar from endo symptoms I have dealt with for ages) but part of me worries if I am supposed to feel this way. It is painful to get up, walk at all or go to the bathroom. Anyone else felt like this following retrieval? I’d better feel better tomorrow since I am planning on going to work no matter what. Can not afford to miss two days of work this week. Also, I weighed myself yesterday for the first time in a week and had gained almost four pounds. A definite surprise to me since I had not been feeling particularly large and bloated until after the hcg trigger. Am hoping it’s all water weight. Am afraid to weigh myself again now. Ugh. Oh, and my boobs are boulders plummeting to the ground.
unbelievably sore. When I took off my bra this afternoon they felt like boulders plummeting to earth. Ouch!
Will post fertilization results tomorrow. Wish us luck!
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