The pre-2 ww?

Ugh. It's really been killing me that I've had no internet access. Access is still down at work and the only reason I'm on now is because I came to a different site to do paperwork. Good news is that new sunny yellow laptop is waiting for me at D.HL which I will head over to in about an hour. I will be able to post and comment with much more frequency! Waiting for it has been a great distraction from the waiting I've been doing for this retrieval to happen. I know, I know. I've only been injecting a little more than a week now but time seems to have slowed for a crawl. What on earth will I do during the real 2ww, praying we make it that far? I go back tomorrow morning for more monitoring. I am guessing that I have a few more days of that though I am anxious to at least know when retrieval will be. Am really hoping it won't be Saturday as I have friends coming into town this weekend. They are very understanding and supportive but I feel bad "messing" up a weekend that has been planned for months. Am feeling a bit more optimistic after last Friday's appt with the doc. I feel like it could go either way though again I am mostly hoping we just have something to transfer. Even if it doesn't stick I'll at least know we have the ability to fertilize.

Thanks to Trace for her comments on my mention of donor sperm. I have been thinking about it a lot and will definitely turn to you for advice, thoughts and support if that's the direction we turn. Mr. P. and I need to have a conversation about it tonight. I have a number of thoughts on it now but will wait to post them later after our talk tonight and hopefully on my shiny new computer.

Our party on Saturday went off pretty well though we were both exhausted after running around all day in preparation. I tried to slip quietly away to do my injection in the bedroom but got caught by one of Mr.P's friends who saw my syringes sitting on the counter. I danced my way around his questions briefly before just not being able to hide the real purpose of them any longer and whispering "we're trying to have a baby and this is our only way it might happen for us!" I have been pleasantly surprised by the reactions I have gotten from most people that I tell about our plans. In particular men have had the coolest reactions, like this friend who looked excited and expressed genuine curiosity about the process and asked lots of questions including "so...Mr.P's "stuff" is in their (pointing to syringe) and you inject it into yourself to make the baby??". He realized how ridiculous it sounded after he said it and we both erupted into uncontrollable laughter. I like the questions and genuine curiosity. I find it easier to excuse the dumb-witted or unintentionally insensitive comments that men make than I do than those of women I feel like should just know better. Men don't come back at you with stories about how their friend "struggled" to get pregnant for three months before getting knocked up or how they "know how you feel" because they get bad cramps when Aunt Flow arrives. At least none of the men I know do! I am not the type to scream from the rooftops that we are doing IVF but if I do feel safe telling someone I do find that I enjoy talking about it and enjoy the genuine curiosity and excitement that most express in response

Speaking of insensitivity....I forgot to mention that there was a 3 week old baby in the waiting room at the clinic on Friday night. I KNOW they have a no-baby policy there so I was shocked 1) that someone had the audacity and lack of consideration for IFers to do that and 2) that none of the nurses or stack said anything to them. I found myself holding back dirty looks that fighting to jump to my face. And then I fought back anger at myself for wanting to shoot dirty looks at a cute-ass baby! What nasty things this IF does to us!

Really must add pictures or graphics to this site. Is b-oring! Will do after introduction to shiny yellow laptop. Can you tell i'm excited?!