Glimmer of Hope?

First, I would like to give many thanks to all of you for your wonderful words of support and advice. I have taken it all to heart and it's so relieving to know that there is always a place where I will feel encouraged and held up. I will definitely be following up on some of the suggestions and info people have provided.

Yesterday was interesting. The CVS wasn't terrible though was a bit more painful and uncomfortable than I was hoping. Both babies were tested since they would want to test the second baby anyway if the results for Baby B are positive as it would increase the chance of the second twin having issues. Because of the position of the placentas one was performed transabdominally (ouch and unpleasant having large needle pushed through and jabbed around) and the other transcervically (more like a slightly uncomfortable pap or when they threaded the catheter through at ivf transfer). I knew I was in good hands as I am being seen at one of the best MFM departments in the country but felt even better when the resident assisting the procedure informed us that the doc in charge is one of the best and most experienced cvs docs in the country and maybe even the world! whew...

Now, to the best news of the day... during the initial scan to check the placement of the placentas the tech checked the nuchal of our precious Baby B. Since Tuesday it had decreased to between 2.5 and 2.7mm. I had been secretly hoping and praying this might happen (though having no idea if this was likely or even possible) but kept it to myself for fear of the universe laughing at me for holding onto some ridiculously small bit of hope. We are definitely not out of the woods since the fact that it was raised at all raises the risks. But this decrease bodes much better for the outcome according to the tech and the doc. The tech explained that it could just mean that that Baby B's lymphatic system is behind a little developmentally and is now catching up filtering out the fluid. I also made them look and see if they could detect any sort of nasal bone at this stage and, though definitely still an uncertain science, both tech and doc found something that they agreed looked like a nasal bone. As Mr. P. pointed out, if we had come in for the originally scheduled nuchal scan screening today the measurements may have been completely in the normal range and we might have avoided this altogether. Ah, the joys of technology and being over-informed! Might we sometimes be better without it?

I am definitely feeling some relief though don't want to let my guard down until we know something good for sure. We should get the preliminary results on Monday afternoon. As others mentioned, we know that it things come back negative we will still be followed closely as increased nuchal folds can be signs of other things not detectable by CVS (ie, birth defects, genetic problems, etc).

How incredibly exhausting this has been. I took the day off of work today, not because I really needed to but just because I needed a bit of down time to recoup and breathe. As it turned out, I picked a good day as we have finally gotten our first decent snowfall of the season in the N.YC area, something I have been waiting for not-so-patiently. Generally, I don't really know that I believe in signs from the universe or God or whatever but today I am choosing to think of this snow as a little gift of peace and tranquility, something to help soothe and temper my remaining fear and uncertainty. It couldn't have come at a better time.

If there has been one good thing to come out of this mess it's been that I feel much more connected to my little ones (though I assume this would have happened anyway so I am not THAT grateful for what I hope is just a senseless scare). They are no longer just these little bugs floating around in there but my living, growing little children who I adore already and worry about ceaselessly.

Thanks again to all of you for your words of support. No matter what the final results it is fabulous to know that there is a community out there ready to embrace you.